Army List 2: BIKES!!

For my second list, I wanted something to represent an army of Custodes Jetbikes. No one will deny the awesomeness of jetbikes in the 40th millennium (they apparently don't exist anymore in the 41st), and I've seen some pretty attractive* conversions. Naturally, I wanted to get in on this.

I originally played around with the idea of sticking with the SW love and doing a Thunderwolf Cavalry list. From first glimpse, I loved TWC. They're cavalry, 2 wounds, T5 (not T4(5)), S5, they get like a dozen attacks on the charge, and have rending. Yeah, these guys are bad as hell. That being said, I ultimately decided against making my jetbikes list count as TWC.

The main reasons being:
1) Modeling cavalry as bikes is tricksy
2) I don't like the lists
3) I can't bring enough of them


I feel like modeling cavalry as units of another type is kind of sneaky. Obviously I would explain to anyone up front that these models are actually Cavalry and not Bikes, but I can't honestly expect them to remember 100% of the time. There aren't many things in which it would make a difference, but it might be just enough to cause some hate, and ultimately I'm in it for the fun so I'd like to avoid that wherever possible.

I have not yet seen a TWC list of my own or anyone else's construction that I actually like. I can't really get a feel for how they should be played, and so any lists I make don't feel right and any lists I see from other people contain too much stuff I don't want. How do you even build a list focused on these guys? I put in the TWC (in configurations: 3x5, 2x5, or 3x3) and a TWM-HQ, but after that everything goes to shit. I need transport-death, so... Long Fangs? Riflemen? And what about troops? No matter what I do, they never seem like more than an afterthought. Putting min GH squads in Razorbacks with las/plas or TLLCs seem like a good idea, but being the only armor and the only S9 on my side of the board means they go down fast. Also, rhino chassis, how I loathe thee.
I think the problem is that they are a super unit, but they aren't really that super. They need lots of support to be effective. Way more support than can fit into 1850-TWC points. Either that, or only take a small number of TWC as the assault element in an otherwise balanced list. But that's lame. My instinct says that 3x3 is the sweet spot for TWC configuration, but I still can't wrap my head around an effective list.

Which brings me to my final point, I don't want a normal army with a few jetbikes, I want a Custodes Jetbikes army. At most, I can fit 16 into an army using TWC; 15 in the Fast slots, and 1 in HQ. I could fit more into the HQ slots if I wanted to, but it gets very pricey and wouldn't really be worth it. Also, I could take Iron Priests on TWMs in the Elite slots as well, giving me 3 more but again I don't think it would be worth the cost. It just isn't possible to run enough TWC to sate my hunger for jetbikes.

For that reason, I decided to base my jetbikes list on a Space Marines Bikes army. Again, I've got 2 variants.

Variant 1: Siegebikes
HQ
Space Marine Captain - Bike/Artificer/Relic Blade

TROOPS
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Flamers/AttackBike Heavy Bolter
5xBikes - 2 Flamers/AttackBike Heavy Bolter

HEAVY
Vindicator - Dozer Blade
Vindicator - Dozer Blade
Vindicator - Dozer Blade

FAST
2xLand Speeder Typhoon
2xLand Speeder Typhoon


This variant I built myself and it's pretty cool, I guess. It actually only comes to 1785 in points, but I really have no idea what to do with the 65 left over. The 2 squads with flamers and HBs I put in to help with horde clearing, but I'm not sure how I feel about them. I mean, I have 3 Vindicators in the list, how much more help am I going to need with infantry? Also, having a squad with both 36" and template guns just doesn't seem right to me. Especially on a bike list that really needs to not get charged. Perhaps that's somewhere 40 of those extra points might go in fitting those last 2 squads like the rest. Or maybe I'll just make the flamers into meltaguns if I'm really worried about losing those HBs.

I might switch the LSTs with Riflemen, I don't know. Basically they're there for transport and MC hunting, which the Dreadnoughts do just as well. I don't know. While much better than the TWC lists, I still can't quite get the feel for this list like I could with my SW list. Really, I just wanted an excuse to stick 3 Vindicators on the board and this felt like the type of list in which they might actually do pretty well.

Variant 2: Stelek Special Edition
HQ
Master of the Forge - Bike/Conversion Beamer
Space Marine Captain - Bike/Artificer/Relic Blade

TROOPS
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Meltagun/AttackBike Multi-Melta
5xBikes - 2 Flamers/AttackBike Heavy Bolter

HEAVY
Rifleman Dreadnought
Rifleman Dreadnought
Rifleman Dreadnought

ELITE
Rifleman Dreadnought
Rifleman Dreadnought
Rifleman Dreadnought

It comes to 1805 points total, and again the 45 left over have nowhere to go.

As mentioned, Stelek built this one, and and its awesomeness/novelty was not wasted on me. His version was a bit different, being 2500 points (I think, or was it 2000?) and having different configurations in his bike squads, I just bumped it down a few points into the range I wanted. I'm pretty sure I did the wrong thing by removing bikes instead of dreadnoughts, but who cares? There are 6 of them!! Some quick math tells me that's just over 21 autocannon hits per turn. Crazy. Does this list need the HB/flamer squad more or less than the other one? I dunno. If I really can't find anything better to do with those points, it will probably turn into another melta squad, but I really don't know which would be the better choice.

I've seen a few SMBikes lists proposed on the internet and the majority of them don't use min-sized squads. I think this is a poor choice and this is why: an attack bike is superior to 2 normal bikes in every possible way. An attack bike is cheaper, gets the same number of attacks, has better shooting (they get to shoot both their bolter and heavy weapon every turn), and they have wounds instead of being separate models meaning they lose no effectiveness until they take 2 wounds as opposed to being cut in half at 1 wound. Giving them a multi-melta instead of the HB makes the points even and means they get a single less die in the shooting phase. (oh noes!! but wait, they trade that 1 shot for S8AP1 melta, hm...) Thus, my philosophy when approaching the bike list was to fit as many attack bikes into it as possible because, yes, they really are that much better. Just increasing my squad size from 5 to 6 means 1 less squad and 1 less attack bike. Frankly I don't think it's worth it. Ablative wounds, survivability, whatever, I understand the problems 5-man squads face and I am prepared to deal with them.

As a side-note, Techpriests are sweet and if GW ever released a Mechanicum codex I would be all over that shit. Easily on par with Custodes for coolness. Custodes are just easier to model, and frankly I feel more like a Custodes than a Techpriest, whatever that means.


So there are the jetbikes lists I am never going to build. I like them well enough, but I just feel like they would take way too much finesse to play. Not to mention the fact that physically building this list is not something I even want to think about doing. Going the 'easy' modeling route and kitbashing SM bikes with Battlefleet Gothic minis would be insanely expensive (and still a pain in the ass), whereas going the 'cheap' modeling route and just building my own from SM bikes would be an insane amount of work (and still super expensive). No, it was a nice thought** while it lasted, but in only the most alternate of realities is it something that might happen irlz.

Well that concludes the "real" lists I've devised. There will be a Part 3 containing a few more I've come up with/copied for consideration, but none of them are as likely to be run as those from Parts 1 and 2. Maybe. I dunno. The remaining lists contain: rubbish, novelty, wishful thinking, and my favorite list in the entire game which is unusable for reasons that will become obvious in time.


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* Probably the most attractive Custodes conversions out there, but how do they drive their jetbikes holding both a spear and shield?

** Obsession is more like it, I was hooked into the bikes like mad all that week